Normally I wouldn’t talk about this to anyone. I’m a firm believer in keeping my charitable contributions to myself, “don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matthew 6:3 ) etc. As I type this, know that I’m not bragging, I just think it is a good story.

I recently attended History Maker. I love these big conferences; something about being in a room with three thousand people all focused on worship, twice a day for three days straight, I enter a level of worship that isn’t normal. You could call it a dangerously high exposure to God. Sometime later we can argue the benefits for a simple worship session over a big stadium show, but when I’m dead tired and my senses are overwhelmed by the music and lights, it’s like I enter a place where it’s just me and Jesus, and the past and future don’t matter anymore.

I was in this place as one of the speakers was leading us through prayer, I asked what was keeping me separated from God, and was surprised by the answer. Of all the things it could have been, His answer was “You are putting your Faith in your Savings Account instead of Me. And it has to go.”

Let me tell you about my savings account…

I believe in setting money aside from every pay cheque for a sort of “Emergency Fund” in a separate savings account for use in the case of repairing or replacing things that get broken, or making large purchases, say a car or house. All through the past year I’ve been working, an automatic monthly transfer has moved money from my main account, into my emergency fund, which has accordingly amassed a fair bit of value. The goal was to use it for either a Mortgage or Tuition. And apparently my long reaching plans and dependance on that money were getting in the way of my relationship with God.

So now I have to get rid of it…

This bothers me. And it bothers me that it bothers me, because I’ve never been a money guy. I like the things that I can get with money, but if I don’t have the money, I don’t mind not having them. I’ve been working for almost a year now though, at a place where the money is our excuse, our apology, our perk and our reason for existence. If we’re feeling depressed, we’re told to “Just think of the money we’re making!” I suppose the vibe’s rubbed off on me some. Also most of my co-workers seem to spend most of their cheque on their week off, so the savings account has become a bit of a thing of pride for me. And I suppose that’s not good either.

As I knelt on the floor and received the word, I was 100 per cent ready and willing to go along with it. I knew though, that once I left the building, doubt would set in. And sure enough, in the bus on the way back to the church we were staying in, my brain starts going, “Well, maybe that wasn’t God…”. This argument doesn’t hold too much water though, because the only way I know to test if a word comes from God or not is to see if it lines up with what’s in the Bible. And I know “Give all the money to the poor and follow me” (Matthew 19:21 ) is in there.

I spent the afternoon today talking with my grandpa, who is very big on saving and setting ones self up for a comfortable retirement. I didn’t say much, and I didn’t talk about this, but that doubt started to creep in again. Tonight we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, and after the meal my fortune cookie said “The financial decision will bring you joy”. Grandpa got “The child will do something that gives you food for thought.”

So I stand to look like a bit of a moron, spending a year saving money, then giving it all away. I have no assurance that I’ll be able to make it back, as this job ends in September, at which point I’ll be going back to school for thirteen weeks. But now I guess I have to wing it and trust God, which was the point. If anyone can think of a charity I should support, let me know.